life lessons, dating file

Lesson 1. A man dropping $100 to take you to the Messiah does not mean he is interested. At least not in dating seriously and when dating in D.C., cause chances are he has a girl, but they were seeing other people and have now decided to take it to the next level. Sure, why not?
Lesson 2. Timing is everything and you either have or you don't. I don't, DAMN IT. I am the Queen of poor timing and I just needed to be reminded of my title, check we're there.
Lesson 3. I am the next Sherri Dew, just not as rich or spiritual. I will die an old maid and never reach the Celestial Kingdom. Fine; heaven for climate, hell for company anyway.

quick update

So I'm over it. Have you ever noticed that everything is better when its blonde, 6ft 5in, spiritual, smart, funny, and really attractive? Also gainfully employed and driven, um sign me up please!

mine, all mine

I broke it off, I wanted to be just friends, I wanted to date other people and have him move on and be happy. That is what I wanted. So why do I feel physically sick now that I have my way. I got just what I wanted, so why?

to you!

Hi Jon =)

um yes, peerfect.

Have you ever had a moment where you are going through your daily routine and you stop and think, "I can't believe this is my life." I have that happen all the time here, I feel like I'm living in a movie or a dream . . . I like it . . . alot.

nirvana.

My teacher work sample is done and I got an A on my second portfolio for my independent study class. The world has never known a better moment than this =)

Answered Prayer

This is kind of silly, but right now I am working on my teacher work sample and I have gone as far as I can without the post assessment. I was supposed to be able to get that today, but then last night we found out that there was going to be another student count and on Wednesday, the next day I would see the needed class, there is PSAT testing so no academic classes are meeting. I was really upset because the TWS is due in Utah by Tuesday and I need to mail the sucker across the country, I had no idea if it would work for me to get the post assessment on Friday and then finish and mail it in by Tuesday. So last night I prayed like crazy to have a way to get this paper from my students, then when I woke up this morning I did the same thing. Low and behold when the first period bell rang they announced that the count would start immediately instead of at third period. Long story shorter, I got the assessment and can finish!!! haPPy DaY!!! thank you Father.

life is beautiful.

I realized the other day that I only write on here when I am upset as a way to vent my feelings. While this is therapeutic for me it makes me seem like an unhappy wench to anyone who reads this blog. Let me assure that other than the once a month or so that I have to whine about my trials my life is beautiful. For example the other day when I was eating lunch in Georgetown I could not believe that this is the life I have been blest to live. The school where I am teaching is full of amazing students who are all talented and love life. We had P-Diddy come and give an assembly and the best part were the student performances. Who has that happen during their student teaching?!?

Also on a side note I finished the class work for my independent study class so all I have to do is take the final and I am done! Looks like I will graduate in December!!!

update . . .

I hate life.

feelings, nothing more than

Have you ever been at a point in your life where you are not sure was it is that you want? I feel like that now. I have a great guy who cares a lot about me and when I don't talk to him on a daily basis I miss it, but I don't feel like I should be with him. I don't know if I am trying to hold out for something I deem better or if I just am to blind or stubborn to see that we fit. But if we do indeed "fit" why do I feel that something is wrong or missing. I did date this man for a month or so this summer and I discovered that he has the ability to hurt me faster than anyone else I know right now, for example once he teased me about a kiss I gave him, I told him to teach me what he would like better but he wouldn't. Now I have never had any complaints in the past so I was surprised, but tried to work out a solution which he didn't want. There were some other personal views that didn't really line up and it came down to feeling like he was trying to change me into what he felt was a person worthy to date him. Well if he had problems with who I was why did he start dating me in the first place? Then I pray about the relationship and feel that we should be friends and I move away, which was always part of the plan. Now I am out in Virginia and realizing that I miss it when I don't talk to him, but I had decided that I did not want to rethink anything until I was back in Utah, but he can't handle that so he asks if I am really not interested anymore, well the first time I didn't know because I really had not thought on it at all, so that is what I told him. The second time I had pondered and realized that right now while I value him as one of my best and favorite friends I don't miss him the way he misses me. Of course he wanted to know why I didn't just say that the first time, but I didn't know it the first time so how could I have possibly let him know it? He had to force the issue, maybe in three months had I analyzed it things would have been different, but he couldn't wait. Now I have to wait and see if I still have a friend or if I lost that too. He told me once I get over things, and people quickly, I am not sure if that was meant to hurt me, but it did. And I don't agree with him.

holy hell.

I am moving across the country . . . TOMORROW!! . . . I have pretty much just been excited up to this point, but I woke up this morning FREAKED OUT. I have this nervous ball which has taken up residence in my stomach . . . just thought I would share.

Boys suck.

For all of you who think that sounds bitter, piss off, this is MY blog and I get to sound however I want. I am young and innocent I have recently come to accept that, but that aside my 22 years have not equipped me with the knowledge to understand or deal well with the opposite sex. Why is it that when things seem to be going well, he's calling, you hang out a lot suddenly there is a weird vibe and instead of cuddling you are on separate couches. *SUCK* What erks me most is that this particular guy has done this to me before, like a month ago, how in holy hell did I get here again?!? The best relationship I have to date is with what has been jokingly termed my "fake boyfriend," a term which kind of makes me sad, but I have learned to cope. I feel frustrated and *insert word here, because I can't think of one that does justice to my true feelings.* I just went for a run to try and vent, I got back at 4am for those who were wondering and I still don't feel calm enough to shower and go to sleep. I hate this feeling, but much more I really dislike the cause of it. I might be taking a break from boys for a while to sort out my position on their worthiness to roam the earth . . . like an hour or two.

Thank you Lord for the Rodeo

I would just like to take this moment to thank God for two of his finest creations, the cowboy and wranglers. You might be wondering what brought on this declaration and the answer is the Pleasant Grove Strawberry days Rodeo. I went on a date to said rodeo this evening and while the guy was nice I am not interested, however should any of tonight contestants want to give me a call sometime . . .. No seriously Rodeos are a great place to admire many great, good-looking expamles of manhood *sigh* someone sign me up, where can I get me one of those!?!

WRANGLER BUTTS DRIVE ME NUTS!!!

Utah sucks, no maybe its just mormons

So I serve at the Olive Garden here in Provo which one would think is not that bad of a gig. And it isn't really, I love the people I work with and most of the time I enjoy my tables. There is one trend however, that I have began to notice about the guests, the majority don't tip. Okay they do, but its like 10%. In California people would be embarrassed to do that here they think its normal. WRONG!!! Maybe I wouldn't mind so much if I made more than $2.13 an hour, which in case you're interested only covers taxes so my checks come with a lovely pattern of VOID decorating every inch of their surface. At least I haven't been stiffed since my first day of training. I guess the tips could be worse, but let's face it not much. And I'm not gonna lie, every time someone orders alcohol I get excited because I know that a decent tip will come off that table. So you see that cheap mormons have led me to a life where I encourage others to drink away their worries, and I recommend it too . . .

the experiment

So I signed up for this solely so I could comment on Shark's blog so this may well be the first and last post, but we will see, time will tell, and all that rot. I should be preparing for the lesson I have to teach tomorrow in Relief Society, but I am doing this instead. I am sure that when I am trapped in my personal version of outer darkness (which involves a trip to Wal-Mart) I will regret that I wasted this time that could have been spent strengthening my spirit and therefore saving my soul. But everythings a trade off now isn't it.

If you think the name of this blog a little odd you are not alone, it is a bit of an inside joke among the roommates and my gmail account. And oddly enough it is always available so I don't have to play the create a name game for an hour before I open a new account. I hate that game.