good lord, I work at a junior high.

EXPLICIT LANGUAGE WILL FOLLOW

For those who do not know me well I do curse, I try to control it to a point, but when I am pissed it flows forth.

In reality I'm not sure how long I can keep teaching, I don't wake up feeling excited to go to work, mostly I wake up resigned. I don't know if this is because I work at a concept school with at risk youth, or if I would feel the same in a main stream school with an honors class or two. I don't know, wish I did. I loved teaching in D.C., but maybe I just loved D.C. so much it didn't matter what else was happening. Most days I like teaching okay, but there are days when I never want to come back again. Today, is almost one of those days.

Basically I'm annoyed and disgusted by the drama that happens in my school. It feels like I have been transported back to sixth grade because after that kids usually start to mature and use common sense, not at this school. Right now we have about 65 students ranging between 14 and 19 years old, emotionally most of them are coming up on 12. Here's today's particular drama. Sam and Jen broke up and now Jen is with Sammie (note the similar yet different names, while they are changed it is reflective of the real names), who is a poser/compulsive liar/whiner/worthless sack of shit. Who wouldn't want to be with a boy like that?!?! In fairness Sam isn't exactly a real winner either, but he is a much nicer person than Sammie, and less of a pain in the ass in class (HUGE factor in teachers' favorites poll). Sam seems to really be at least somewhat involved in a gang, Sammie couldn't bang if his life depended on it he'd get the shit beat out of him on an hourly basis; but doing and pretending so one can look cool are two very different things. Sammie has people convinced that he is, in fact, involved in a gang that is a rival of Sam's gang.

So while the boys battle a little bit about Jen they stick more to gang stuff. Except, Sam seems to actually be trying to stay out of trouble while Sammie just wants to look big. Sammie and company were yelling things during 5th period that mean ______ killer and Sam, who was in my class ignored it for the first little bit before getting pissed and saying that he wasn't yelling _____ killer at them so what the . . . (at that point I lost interest and he started cursing [not allowed in my class] so I don't feel like typing it out). So I closed the door and the teacher from next door took Sammie to visit the vice principal. Next thing I know Junior, who always wants to be involved so he can look cool, comes back from getting a drink to relay two messages, "Sam, Jen says if you don't shut your mouth you're going to be in even deeper shit than you are already." and "Jose says he's waiting for you." Splendid. So I have to leave my class to regulate in the hallway where Jen is sitting outside the class she is in doing nothing with the door closed. Does anyone see a problem with that!?!? What the hell? These kids are NEVER supposed to be unsupervised, thanks lazy-ass teacher. And Jose is talking to her holding a hall pass. So I ask where he is supposed to be and he shows me the hall pass. "That's not what I asked, whose class are you in, Jack's?" He finally admits that is where he is supposed to be so I open the door to Jen's class and inform the teacher that Jen needs to come inside because she is sending threatening messages to students in my class. Jen cursed some, I think she said it was bullshit, I thought, "funny I was thinking the same thing." Then I took Jose back to Jack's and it turns out he only had permission to go to the bathroom (no where near my room or where Jen had been) so his teacher was ticked and told him that if he so much as heard a rumor that Sammie or Jose had even talked to Sam he would make sure they were suspended. Two down.

I then go back to my room and I am so annoyed that it is radiating off of me and one of the kids goes, "you look mad."

"I am pissed! I feel like I work at a freaking middle school with all this drama, it's bullshit! I picked high school so I could come and teach, this day has been pathetic, have you even learned anything today?!?!? *stunned silence*

"Yes" in unison.

"Name one thing." *more silence*

"They had pretty crappy houses in the 1600's." I laughed, but I also hung my head.

the dance

I have no photo to accompany this, but I really wish I did. Each night there is a hilarious little dance that happens at my house. The dance consists of Jamie chasing Demon around trying to pick him up while he darts around like a humming bird trying to avoid her, all the while she is yelling, "I just want to love you!" I usually just stand there and laugh, but last night I had mercy on her and suggested she corner him in a room, low and behold she got him =).

It might seem silly, but little things like that are what make life good. Just like I look forward to the two day drive I take every year in the summer with my grandmother and aunt to the Oregon Coast literally all year, I laugh so much those two days. And, I control the radio. That seems dumb, but I'm the youngest of not only my immediate family, but also my extended one so control over anything with them is a big damn deal.

Anyway, the point is I don't need huge things that make me smile, to make me happy, or to make me realize that I have a good life. What I need are all the little things, like the nightly dance.

helper dog!

Most dogs can just be in the way when you are trying to accomplish things, I'm SO lucky my dog isn't like that. This is from Monday night while Demon helps Dan put together Jamie's dresser. Dan was incredibly grateful for the assistance. =)