another one.

I lost another student. He died of liver failure and complications from diabetes. He was 19.

I have started to wonder what it is like to have student stories like, so and so just got into UCLA or is making a difference in the community. My stories are so and so died, was stabbed, executed (happened last year), is back in jail, or is back on drugs. The good kids here go home and disappear for the most part, but one of the stories listed above was one of our "good kids." I am emotionally empty from working here. Please don't tell people, but I am grateful that they don't have the funding to keep me next year. I want a job, but not this one. I can't take it anymore.

things i'm fond of.

I was lying in bed the other day, right after the alarm had gone off, snuggled up to my husband when I thought, "on the list of things I'm fond of you're pretty high up there." If I was to be truly honest I'd have to say he's at the top of said list. =)

I think the eyes have something to do with it . . .

travis.

I had a student pass away right before Thanksgiving. I found out through a slightly awkward series of events, but in the end it was better because I was able to go to my room and have a breakdown before the staff meeting when everyone was told. Which means I just sobbed silently in the meeting which is not what happened in my classroom. He was my favorite. That's right I said it, teachers have favorites, you've known it your whole life, but I just confirmed it for you. Anyway, this Monday one of his other teachers found an assignment that Travis had done his first day at our school. It was to write 20 "I am" statements in less than 5 minutes. 1-19 we're cute or truthful, 20 made me cry again.

Here are his words:

1. I am Travis *********

2. I am a drug addict

3. I am irresponsible

4. I am skateboarding today

5. I am the youngest child

6. I am 18 years of age

7. I am a genius

8. I am wearing a lot of black

9. I am original

10. I am different

11. I am unorthodox

12. I am getting my G.E.D.

13. I am happy today

14. I am excited about this class

15. I am Gentle

16. I am Kind

17. I am down to earth

18. I am unaffected by teenage drama

19. I am a prophet of some sort

20. I am destined to do great things

He was.

cowboys.

A few months ago I was driving back to Utah from California and in Winnemucca I stopped at Chevron for gas. They were having some serious issues and their pumps weren't working so after wasting about ten minutes there I went across the street to the Flying J to try my luck. I got lucky and found a pump, but to grab it I had to pull in with my tank on the opposite side of the pump. When I hopped out to start filling up I discovered that the hose wouldn't reach. I stood there exhausted, frustrated, and unsure of what to do because trying to turn around meant losing the pump and getting back in line and I just wanted to leave. Then a man came up to me. He was tall and slim, wearing wranglers, boots, and a straw cowboy hat. He said, "won't reach, huh?" "Well, you get in your truck and flip around and I'll stand here and hold your pump."

I melted. With relief, with gratitude, with the knowledge that there are kind people out there still willing to help a lady in distress.

I told him thank you, but I wish I could do more, or that I knew more about him. What I do know is that if I have boys I'm going to raise them to be like this cowboy because the world would be a better place if we all had a little more cowboy in us.

=)

30 days

grrr.

I just shattered the top part off the crystal heart bead I was going to use as an accent on Joy's anklet. freakn' a. =(

REE!!

Lesli and I are going to Salt Lake Nov 4 to buy some cookbooks and meet a lady whose life I kinda want. I'm so excited!!

Read her amazing blog here

hmm

Isn't it funny how certain songs will always transport you back to a time long past in your life and you will able to smell what you did then and feel what you did then and sometimes when you do this you will miss that moment so much that it is painful?

Benton Paul = student teaching in DC and being so happy that I never wanted it to end.

Don't Go

ick.

You know what I don't like? Lemon cake, lemon bars, lemon cookies. Why? No idea, I just DON'T.

You what I do like though? Lemon drops, Dumbledore and I are on the same page there.

Ya, I'm weird, get over it.

block.

I blocked someone for the first time ever this week, felt nice =)

Mostly cause the person is a creep.

i'm so proud of me!

I cooked today! I made baked beans from this post and they were

awesome! I love this lady's blog, I feel like I know her, thank you internet for providing us with a whole new type of celebrity.

*sigh*

School has started and I am so tired! Why on earth are weekends so short?

buhahahaha!

Uh, good luck with that =)

i don't want to.

I have to go back to work in less than a week. stupid. =(

chasing seagulls.

Its so frustrating when you know you can catch seagulls if the people will just let you off your leash! My brother's freakishly long legs do an excellent job of keeping up with the wee Demon beastie.

#57 go camping.

We went to Anchor Bay this past week and camped on the beach. We had 12 people, 4 camp sites, and more crap than I thought possible to pack. We did have several people coveting our kitchen, what with the 3 dutch ovens and 2 camp stoves totaling 5 burners that are from the 40's.

ah, beth cooper.

Just finished this book, it was funny. As in, freaking hilarious! And a little crude . . . but, if you can look past that and you feel like you want to laugh out loud, pick it up.

okay, a lot crude. It's written about teenagers, what did you expect?

just as bad the second time around.

I tried people, I really did. 

Still strongly dislike this book. 

Sorry.

But it was funny when my three year old nephew asked if I was reading a horsey book, I had never really bothered to look at the cover. He looked at me like I was crazy when I explained what it was about and why I was reading it. He might have been right.

well, that's annoying.

I just got onto my mother's computer so I could upload a short video I am in love with, but since she  NEVER updates her Mac it couldn't even connect to my phone so I could put the video on and then transfer it here. 

*sigh with eye roll*

Maybe tomorrow.

hmmm.

Why is it that in Disney's Beauty and the Beast, the prince is WAY more attractive as a beast than he is as a human prince? Can someone please explain that to me?